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20 November 2007 @ 01:17 pm
Beowolf  
 I saw Beowolf the other day.

I have two words for you:

Frickin. Weird.

I got another word for you:

Stupid.

I didn't like it at all. Because you know I just love watching a man whore sleep with a she-demon and spawn a dragon that he later has to kill.

Some hero.

Lame.

I've never actually read the book- poem- whatever but appearantly even Oedipus has one up on Beowolf. At least Oedipus didn't know who he killed and with whom he shared his bed.

WTF?

It was interesting watching a movie in 3D though. I was honestly hoping that a sword would like stab the viewer... I was hoping but it never happened. I guess you wouldn't really want people going into cardio arrest just from watching your movie lol. When a knife in a preview swung really close, I started freaking out. That would have been awesome.... I would have totally freaked out lol.

The theater for some reason had the sound up so freaking loud! I thought I was gonna go deaf! I had to cover my ears for almost the entire movie! And I still heard it perfectly fine- it still even then too loud!

/rant
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lordofhaladinlordofhaladin on November 20th, 2007 08:01 pm (UTC)
I have to say I'm irritated to find out that Beowulf was all computer animated. and yeah.. annoyign tht they changed it.. though I hvent read the story myself I still know what its about... :) they arent showing it in 3d here :( not IMAX here...
adalia_jean: brandon routh/ crapadalia_jean on November 28th, 2007 12:44 am (UTC)
heh. you didn't miss anything. trust me. ;)

the computer animation wasn't even that great. it was just like a video game. and when Beowolf fights Grendel, blue stob lights are flashing. wtf?
lordofhaladinlordofhaladin on November 28th, 2007 01:37 am (UTC)
wtf? STROBE LIGHTS???? LOL!!!!!
adalia_jeanadalia_jean on November 28th, 2007 01:59 am (UTC)
lol! yep ;P
mel: SMRT d'oh!mellymel_cos on November 20th, 2007 08:45 pm (UTC)
wha, wha, what?!? That's not Beowulf! At least not the Beowulf I remember (though it's been a long time, like 6th grade, since I read it). The dragon had nothing to do with Grendel's mother and Beowulf certainly never slept with her! He went there to kill her, was practically immediately engaged in combat with her, there was no room for sleeping with her and her mothering a dragon child, that's for sure. When he left her lair, he had decapitated her and the corpse of Grendel. They were dead, the end, game over! The dragon was a separate antagonist entirely. He was just pissed 'cause some slave stole his golden cup and in a fit of rage, he goes around burning everything in sight. Beowulf and Wiglaf are the only ones that's aren't too afraid to fight the dragon. They slay him, but Beowulf dies from his wounds.

See, now people who haven't read the poem are going to see this and assume that's the story. WTF indeed! Why do directors and screenplay writers keep messing with classical stories like this? I mean, obviously we as human beings have found the originals to be entertaining enough for, oh, you know, thousands of years! And here I was really looking forward to seeing this, too. *pouts*

I mean, it's one thing when 300 changes minor asides like depicting the ephors as "diseased, inbred, corrupt old mystics and priests of the old gods" who really had nothing to do with the Oracle at Delphi and were just 5 elected government officials. But to change the essential storyline, like this is really beyond me. Maybe they felt they needed to somehow tie all three antagonists together, otherwise it would feel like two separate stories or something. Still, retarded!

Aside from that, was the animation good? The previews kind of look like watching a video game and that doesn't really impress me a whole lot. Skin and what not looks very plastic and eyes very hollow. Is that how the rest of the movie is, or just the previews?
adalia_jeanadalia_jean on November 28th, 2007 12:42 am (UTC)
I've never read Beowolf, but everyone that had told me it definately didn't go that way either... and I can hardly see how it would be a classic if it had... I must say I agree with you. It makes me quite angry. It was hardly entertaining.
And they took it even a step farther. Grendel was the son of the she-demon and the previous king. The dragon was spawned from the she-demon and Beowolf (since he killed her son Grendel). Then, at the end of the movie, his second in command (would that be Wiglaf, perhaps?) becomes king and the she-demon appears to him in the water, completely naked, and he looks like he is about to fall completely to her seduction (because she wants another son). They make her appear indestructable...
Honestly, there wasn't much action in the movie, just tons sexual jokes and inuendos. And Beowolf and the she-demon are just about as close to completely naked as you could possibly get (and I don't even mean for a sex scene. they are just randomly naked throughout the movie)... which was odd... especially since a little six year old boy was sitting right next to me in the theater. I can't believe he was aloud to watch that movie!

It was *exactly* like a video game (but just slightly better graphics) and it was even more bizzarre when Beowolf fought Grendel. Grendel was depicted as a delapitating human giant and when he attacked, it was like blue, flashing stobe lights. It was really disorienting and weird.